23 March 2007
GOING TRADITIONAL STATUS REPORT: Rejections #29 & 30
Via email from the Roman Group:Hello Celise,
I have read the first 100 hundred or so pages of your manuscript and I'm afraid I'm going to pass at this time. I like your concept and characters. However, the pace is too slow. This is a YA novel about an undercover teen FBI agent so the story should move. We don't get a hint that something is going down or wrong until around page 75 where Draven meets her fellow student in the spa with her and he is like "you've got to get out of her now." We need to have something happening in the first chapter to keep YA readers reading. You've got the concept and the characters. We need the pace and plot to move swiftly. This could be an episode of Kim Possible and if you've seen that cartoon you'll note that is moves.
If you do another draft I'd be happy to look at it again or if you want to chat with me about it feel free to call.
Best,
-Nicholas
Via email from Lowenstein-Yost Associates:
Dear Celise,
Thanks very much for sending me your synopsis and first 50 pages.
Although I really likes the cadence and authenticity of the characters'
conversations - I just can't get behind the plot. There are too many
loopholes in the story for me.
I'm sure you've heard the "agenting is very subjective" bit before, but it
really is true. Although your project is not right for my particular list,
it very well could be a perfect fit for someone else.
I wish you tremendous luck in finding the ideal advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Zoe Fishman
Labels: Going Traditional
