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04 August 2006

Bad dog...

In Yahoo News today..."Elvis' teddy all shook up by jealous hound dog" .

Elvis Presley's cherished teddy bear Mabel was reportedly all shook up after being mauled by an apparently jealous guard dog hired to protect her at a British museum.

The rare toy, made in 1909 by German manufacturer Steiff and valued at 40,000 pounds (75,000 dollars, 59,000 euros)--Yow! Kinda pricey, was to have formed the centrepiece of a valuable collection on display at Wookey Hole Caves, in Somerset, southwest England.

But for some reason Barney, the Dobermann pinscher charged with protecting the precious cuddly toy and the other fluffy exhibits, took--I think he meant "turned" against them, going on the rampage in a frenzied after-hours attack. I believe that should be "going on a rampage, not the rampage. Geez, did this guy not use grammar check?

Mabel was disembowled of her soft stuffing and had her head severed--thanks for the visual on that. The damage is believed to be irreperable. Irrepairable. Are you kidding me? Use your frickin' spell check.

"Barney has been a model guard dog for more than six years. I still can't believe what happened," security guard Greg West was quoted as saying after the attack on Tuesday night.
"Either there was a rogue scent of some kind on Mabel, which switched on Barney's deepest instincts, or it could have been jealousy. I was just stroking Mabel and saying what a nice bear she was."

Mabel was bought by local aristocrat Sir Benjamin Slade at an auction in Memphis, Tennessee, and was on a work surface while a glass case was being built for her.

Wookey Hall general manager Daniel Medley was quoted as saying he had spoken to Sir Benjamin.

"He is not very pleased at all," he added. Ya think? Why would anyone be pleased that something of great value was damaged beyond repair?

Mistake #1: Having a dog guarding a "cuddly toy and other fluffy exhibits". He may be the best damned guard dog in all London, but he's still a dog at heart. Correct me if I'm wrong, but to me, dog + cuddly fluffy toys = plaything.

Mistake #2: A grown man stroking a teddy bear. 'Nuff said.

Mistake #3: A grown man stroking a teddy bear...and admitting it in public. Ahem. Well. Right, then, moving on...

Mistake #4: A grown man stroking a teddy front of his DOBERMAN PINSCHER. I hear they tend to be a little territorial when it comes to their peeps, so, yeah, maybe he was little jealous. It was probably like waving a red flag in front of a bull: "Ya think she's cute, eh? Ya think that bloke's better'n me, yeah? Well, bugger off. I'll show you nice, you turncoat. The minute the lights are out, the bear gets it. Right up the arse, she will, see if I don't do it."

Sooooo, what happens when a guard dog damages a work of art beyond repair?
posted by GeminiWisdom @ 1:58 PM |


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