No Shows, just Guilty Pleasures

Heroes won't be "saving the world" until Jan 22 and Bones is showing, well, old skeletons. I got lucky last night with new episodes of Smallville and Supernatural, but I have a feeling the latter won't be on next week.

I've taken to watching two new mini-serials. Serials that are way cheesier than daytime soap operas with no-talent, no-name actors. A new set just started this week, but before, I was kinda tuning in to the previous set: Desire and Fashion House. I never really watched the first one, but the second one had two famous actresses in it: Bo Derek and Morgan Fairchild.

I've seen Bo Derek act--with real lines, I mean--in one movie and a TV series, "Wind on Water," that never took off. I vaguely remember Bolero. Seriously. And now, after watching Fashion House, I know why. The woman. cannot. act. It would just be better if she just stood around, draped herself over something--or someone--kept her mouth shut, and looked beautiful. I don't know how old she is now, but she really is a beautiful woman. She just can't act. It's like she's trying too hard. She played Maria Gianni, owner of Fashion House with a sketchy past that comes back to bite her in the ass. The scenes where she was threatning someone or mean came off sounding beathy, trite, and insincere. She didn't have what it took to be an "evil bitch", like, say, Joan Collins (remember Dynasty?) or her co-star Morgan Fairchild.

The second rash of mini-serials started this week: Wicked, Wicked Games and Watch Over Me. The main "evil bitch" in Wicked is Tatum O'Neal. As in Ryan O'Neal's daughter. As in tennis bad boy John McEnroe's wife (or is it ex-wife now?). She wants revenge against an ex-lover and she's forcing her two sons help her. It remains to be seen how well she can channel her inner "evil bitch."

On the other hand, there's some serious eye candy in Watch Over Me. Concept? Ex-military guy is hired as a bodyguard to "watch over" a scientist's daughter and fiancee. The bodyguard is some GORGEOUS no-name actor. One of the bodyguard's friends is a GORGEOUS no-name actor. The scientist--who looks like no scientist to me--is...say it with me now...some GORGEOUS no-name actor. So the people I do recognize?

~ Dayanara (cool name) Torres - Latino singing star Marc Anthony's ex-wife. She's one of the main characters and the fiancee to that scientist guy.

~ Casper Van Dien - eye candy hottie, who's married to..

~ Catherine Oxenberg - lucky bitch

The shows last about for a couple of months but I've discovered something about them:

This is possibly the first acting gig--EVER--for the majority of the actors and actresses.

They probably just got done with acting classes--maybe are even still taking them--and took this gig as a jumping off point. I can hear the conversation between the director and casting agent right now:

"She looks hot. Any acting lessons?"

"Bout a week."

"I can work with that. What about him? He looks great without a shirt."

"Bout a month."

"Fantastic. Sign him up."

Truly, I don't know why I put myself thru torture watching these shows. Wait, I do know why. Pure entertainment. I get a kick out of watching these no-name people "act" out emotions it's apparent they aren't feeling at the time. Anger, rudeness, meanness, etc seem like an afterthought. You can't threaten to kill someone when it looks like you accidentally kicked your puppy. It doesn't work. Really. And it's hard to believe you're hurt, betrayed or devastated when there are no tears rolling down your face. Dig deeper, girlfren'.

The love scenes--and you know there are plenty--are romance book worthy, but it seems like everyone goes thru the motions just so they can get to these scenes. Kinda like porn, I guess.

Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are my show days. These mini-serials are on every day, 6 days a week. Well, the one on Saturday is more like a re-cap of what happened during the week, but still...

If all your shows are in re-run mode, there's nothing good on cable, and these shows are broadcast in your area (here, it's My45 which is really Channel 9), be sure to check out my guilty pleasures,

Wicked, Wicked Games and Watch Over Me.

Just ignore the plot and enjoy the eye candy.

Labels: Boob Tube