No Wedding Bell Blues: Part One

It's been a long time coming, but here it is. It would've been really cool if this had been my 200th post. It would've seemed fitting somehow, but Steven hadn't downloaded the pictures off his camera yet. Anyhow, we were married on Sept 9th at a venue in Mesa, AZ. It used to be someone's house, but about 6 years ago (maybe more) it was turned into a reception center. The ceremony was by the pool and the reception was inside. I freaked out because while I was getting my hair done that morning (in Tempe), it poured like crazy for a good 20-30 minutes. I was afraid we'd have to have the ceremony inside. I forgot how fickle the weather can be here and even though it was raining in my part of town, it apparently didn't touch the wedding site. It was a little cloudy, but it didn't rain. Unfortunately, my sister got caught in it and it took her a little bit longer to reach the person who was going to do her hair. Which in turn caused her husband to call me and ask "Is your sister with you?" That was the last thing I needed to hear on the day of my wedding. Thanks so much, D. She made it, though. An hr or so later. No matter. When I heard that, everything was right in my world. I could stop panicking. The periodic phone calls from Steven probably helped, too.

The ceremony was beautiful. Thanks to Jo and Gil for singing me up the aisle (to Led Zeppelin's "Thank You") and then singing Steven and back down the aisle (to a very cool rendition of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire"). We said our own vows and it was a little difficult for me. I was doing fine (read: no crying) up until it was my turn:

Steven's vows: Celise, the first time I met you, you were a pretty picture and an intriging profile on my computer screen. I knew at that moment that I wanted to meet you in person. When I finally met you in person, I knew at that moment that I wanted to take you out for dinner and movie. From the moment I took you on our first date, I knew from that point on that we would have something very special.

Your laughter always brings joy to my heart and a smile to my face. Your willingness to put up with my behavior is truley amazing.

Andrea Celise Downs, your my soulmate, the love of my life, my true reason for happiness, and my chocolate goddess. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

My vows: Some have said our love was destined and I agree wholeheartedly. I knew I loved you after one week. You are my reality check when I live in fiction, my comforter in my time of need, and the laughter that dries my tears. My heart, my body, and my love are yours forever and a day. And even when we're old and gray, you'll still be the bomb diggity.

The reception was immediately after and I'd tell you what we had for dinner, but frankly, I don't remember eating it. I might've taken some bites, but it could've tasted like sawdust for all I know--WAIT, I'M REMEMBERING SOMETHING--chicken stuffed with stuffing. Some kind of veggies. And a really good salad as an appetizer. The DJ had everything on a schedule, and I think some people thought he was rushing, but seriously? If it hadn't been, we never would've gotten through everything. We would've kept on talking to our guests and I never would've heard my Dad's speech. I was doing really good up until he got up there. I swear to God I wish I could post what he said here, but it was totally off the cuff, unscripted and unsaved on a desktop somewhere. But we have it on videotape (thanks Craig and Bev) and that's all that matters. After his speech, people were coming up to him and saying how great it was. And truly, it was the greatest. In a nutshell, he has 3 sisters and a brother who are half-Japanese; my Mother is half Choctaw (I think I spelled that right) Indian. He was not raised in a prejudiced household and he did not raise his children that way, either. They loved Steven long before he became an official part of the family and they're proud to have him as their son-in-law. *hang on. I need to get a Kleenex.*

The worst part was that I had to make my speech after my Dad. Yeah. Nice. It was like doing a cannonball after watching a perfect 2 1/2 twists with a somersault. The night of my bridal shower, I went to bed and dreamed about this speech. Almost a week later, I remembered all of it and wrote it down. I had to alterate it a bit because, ironically enough, my sister and father had already mentioned some of the things I had written. Great minds think alike, I guess. Here's the original version:

My Speech:

"Thank you all for coming. I know we're a time schedule here so I'm going to try and keep my thank you's short. Being a writer, that's going to be hard to do, but I'm gonna try:

I see faces out there that have known me and my family since I was knee high to a grasshopper. For those of you who don't know, this wonderful couple are my parents, Art and Joetta. Not too many children can say that they like hanging out with their parents, but I can freely admit that I love to do so. When we all get together there's nothing but loud, uproarious laughter. And even though some females cringe at the thought of becoming like their Mother, I can only hope that I'll be half the woman she is. Thank you for my love of English that lead to a love of novel writing, my addiction to books, for teaching me how to moonwalk on the kitchen floor, for your unconditional love and support, for bring a great example of the kind of relationship I wanted. And giving me the patience to wait until it came along. I love you guys. These are my parents, Art and Joetta.

And this is my sister, Michelle. No, we're not twins (you should've worked harder on that, Dad), we're two days and two years apart. (Gemini's RULE). Thank you for all the shared hair-do's, birthday parties, identical outfits, petty fights, pep talks, secrets kept, shoulder to lean on, my nieces and nephews, a brother in law, and your unconditional love and support. You told me once that I was your rock. And I can tell you that you are my anchor. For our life together, as sisters, you are my bestest friend and I cannot imagine my world without you in it. I love you.

During the 5 1/2 years that Steven and I have been together, he's come to realize how important family is to me. ____ (insert # of years here) we became a part of another one. The 501st Dune Sea Garrison is a costuming charity organization that dresses up in movie quality Star Wars costumes...and then walks 6 miles, in the heat, in full gear for MS. Or makes a child forget, for a time, why they've been admitted to Phoenix Children's Hospital or St Joe's Hospital. Steven here does Darth Maul and hear tell, he's their best one. You all have been most kind and we value the frienships we've made. And we'd like to thank you for FORCING us--sorry--converting us to the Dark Side.

Family, friends and co-workers alike, we thank you for coming out and sharing our special day with us."


All in all, it was the happiest day of my life. I had family come in from Detroit (including a cousin I hadn't seen since I was 16), family friends that have known me since I was little, co-workers and good friends. I've known my Bridesman, Ken, for 26 years. We met when my family transferred to Reno, NV. I don't remember how old I was when we met (although he might be able to pinpoint that), but I know that for the 5 1/2 years we lived on Warren Way were the best times of my life; and part of that was due to Ken. It only seemed natural that I have him stand up with me.

"I'm not wearing a dress," he kids. "And when it comes time to give my speech, I'm telling everyone that I'm not gay."

He ended up in a suit, I don't think he mentioned anything about not being gay, and he embarrassed the hell out of me. His work was done.

Below are some pictures that were taken on Steven's camera. We haven't seen the ones from the professional--or the disposable cameras--yet.






Steven and his groomsman: (l to r) Sean, Josh, Neil













Our wedding party: (l to r) Amy, Ken, Michelle, me, Steven, Josh, Sean, Neil

















Threatning to dump Steven in the pool

















Men bowing--sorry--kneeling at my feet

STAY TUNED FOR PART TWO...