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02 April 2007

Movie Queue: 'Shooter' and '300'

Starring Mark Wahlburg, Danny Glover, Michael Pena, Kate Mara, Tate Donovan

Bob Lee Swagger (Wahlburg) is a former Marine Corps sniper who's left the military after a mission gone bad. He's reluctantly pulled back into service by a Colonel (Glover) under the guise of stopping an assassination of the President before it happens. Double-crossed, shot and the star of a nationwide manhunt, Swagger begins his revenge, which will take down the most powerful people in the country.

First of all, it was very unusual to see Danny Glover without Mel Gibson at his side. The last movie I saw him in was, what, Lethal Weapon 3? And how bad is it that I had to look that up because I couldn't remember the name of the movie! He's done some other behind-the-scenes stuff since then, but I was shocked to see him playing one of the bad guys.

Second of all, Bob Lee Swagger? WTF?! Are they serious? Come. On. I'm wondering how many takes they got thru before all the actors could say that name without cracking up. Or snickering.

All in all, it was a good action flick. Lotta things being blown up (great for the guys), some good muscle-y shots of Mark Wahlburg (great for the ladies), and reason number 15,021 for why I never enlisted in the Armed Forces (nice try, though, Dad).

Review: 3 1/2 Snaps Up

Starring: Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, David Wenham, Dominic West
The hubby and I saw this movie opening weekend. Which was, what, 3 weeks ago? And I'm just now writing about it? Yes. Don't ask why. We had wanted to see this at the IMAX theater.
When we got there, all three showings were sold out. Sold. Out. I kid you not.
However, I'm glad we didn't see it there because I would still be deaf. My hair would still be blown back. And my face would still look like I'd had some serious plastic surgery. So, here's the blurb about the movie:
In the ancient Battle of Thermopylae, King Leonidas and 300 Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes and his massive Persian army. Facing insurmountable odds, their valor and sacrifice inspire all of Greece to unite against their Persian enemy, drawing a line in the sand for democracy.
Let me tell you what I remember:
~ a sea of KAPLOW! six-packs and men dressed in suede briefs, sandals and capes
~ freakin' awesome fighting scenes shot with a Sin City-esque feel
~ a sea of KAPLOW! six packs and men dressed in suede briefs, sandals and capes
~ some dead bodies
~ a freakishly tall man with a deep voice wearing more jewelry than any woman in the known universe. As it turns out, he's about an 8 1/2 on the Taster's Choice Scale of Hotness.
~ a sea of KAPLOW! six-packs and men dressed in suede briefs, sandals and capes.
~ Keanu Reeves' younger brother, a la Bill and Ted's (the dude on the left). Go see the movie to get a better look at him and you will completely understand. He's a 9 on the Taster's Choice Scale of Hotness.
~ some more dead bodies
~ some more freakin' awesome fighting scenes shot with a Sin City-esque feel.
~ Gerard Butler and his orgasmic Scottish accent
Was I the only one thinking "Do they ever get cold?"
And was I the only one thinking "Spartans are the only men in the entire universe that can look sexy while wearing sandals?"
I know I wasn't the only female wiping drool off my face. I mean, GAWD DAY-UM.
"What else has he been in?" my hubby whispers to me. In reference to Gerard Butler, that is.
"Nothing you'd remember seeing. Or have seen. But he's got a great set of KAPLOW! six packs," I whisper back.
"Hey, it's Balromir's brother from Lord of the Rings," my hubby whispers to me again a little while later.
"Huh. So it is. He also played the monk in Van Helsing. Y'know, Hugh's sidekick?" I whisper back.
"He's got a great set of KAPLOW! six packs, too."
THIS MOVIE ROCKED! I'm sure it was hard to detect. We're buying it when it comes out.
Review: 5 KAPLOW! Snaps Up


posted by GeminiWisdom @ 7:02 PM |


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