Apparently, there really IS justice in this world

And it starts on my birthday, no less. In Yahoo Headlines today: Paris Hilton going to jail for 45 days

"Hilton... must go to jail on June 5 and she will not be allowed any work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or any electronic monitoring in lieu of jail, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ruled after a hearing." YES! (Snoopy dance inserted here)

"As a city prosecutor said during closing arguments that Hilton deserved jail time, Hilton's mother, Kathy, laughed. When the judge ruled, Kathy Hilton then blurted out: "May I have your autograph?" Way to go, Mom. Whether that was meant to be sarcastic or not.

"Paris Hilton was among a series of witnesses who took the stand during the hearing. She maintained she was unaware her license was suspended and thought she was allowed to drive for work purposes." Work purposes? Since when is club hopping, shopping, and attending fashion shows considered to be work, you twit?

"She said that when an officer who stopped her in January made her sign a document stating her license was suspended, she thought he was mistaken and did not actually look at the document...A copy of the document Hilton signed on Jan. 15 was found in the car's glove compartment, court papers say." That'll teach her to sign something while she's drunk.

45 days. What will she do without makeup and Versace?

When my hubby takes me out for the requisite birthday dinner on that day, I'll be sure to raise my glass of red sangria and toast the Justice Gods.

45 days. All is right in the universe.

Labels: In the News, Life in General

Not gonna happen

In Yahoo Headlines today, Prosecutors want Paris Hilton in jail.

As much as we'd all love to see this, it's not going to happen. Which truly pisses me off and I'll tell you why.

Going to the closet and pulling out my soapbox.

~ "Hilton, 26, pleaded no contest in January to reckless driving stemming from a Sept. 7 arrest in Hollywood. She was sentenced to 36 months probation, alcohol education and $1,500 in fines." She's a Hilton, for crissakes. They couldn't come up with a more expensive fine than $1500. That's chump change.

~ "She was pulled over by California Highway Patrol on Jan. 15. Officers informed Hilton she was driving on a suspended license and she signed a document acknowledging she was not to drive, according to court papers."..."Hilton's spokesman, Elliot Mintz, said at the time she wasn't aware her license was suspended". So what the hell did she think she was signing? Her autograph for the cops kids?

~ "Prosecutors say by signing the document after the first incident Hilton knew she was not allowed to drive." Well, duh. She's not only blonde, but she plays it up to the hilt, hoping to get by.

~ "They also note that as of April 17 she had yet to enroll in the alcohol education program." Did I mention that this is Paris Hilton? She wouldn't be caught dead going to a lowly alcohol education program. Unless it was held inside a store on Rodeo Drive, that is.

So they want her to do jail time because "she was pulled over by Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies on Feb. 27 for speeding and driving without her headlights" and therefore violated her probation. Understandable. Driving at night without your lights on? That's dangerous. She could've hurt somebody. So, the prosecutors want her to stay away from alcohol for 90 days, wear a monitoring device to see that she complies (that's hot!), and suspend her license for an add'l four months. They need to revoke it until she's 40. She's a danger to other drivers on the road. Revoke her damn license and make her get a friggin' driver. Hell, she can afford it.

"These violations demonstrate Hilton's disregard for the vehicle laws of this state as well as for the conditions of her probation," the court filing said. "This court should ... include imprisonment as a condition of reinstating her probation."

I totally agree and would love to see this prissed-out blonde party girl in an orange jumpsuit, but like I said. It's not gonna happen. It's amazing the shit actors and actresses get away with these days. Just because you're worth millions of dollars, does not mean you're above the law, people. If she were my kid, I'd cut her off.

"You had one chance to get your shit together and you effed up. You want to break the law? I'm gonna get all Disturbia on your ass. House arrest, baby. We're slappin' a pretty little bracelet around your ankle that you can accessorize to your heart's content, but you ain't goin' nowhere. I'm sorry, what was that? You're 26 yrs old? Well, honey, stupidity is ageless. And apparently it's something you've inherited from your father's side of the family. Why can't you be more like your sister?"

Stepping down off the box and putting it away.

I think I'm done now. For reals.

Labels: In the News, Life in General

H2O on the rocks, please...

Yahoo Featured Headline today: Water Facts and Fiction: Do you really need eight glasses of water a day? Is bottled water better than tap?

I love water. Water is my favorite drink. Now. When I was young, I drank nothing but grape juice. And it had to be the Welch's Grape Juice from the big can (y'know, like what Hawaiian Punch used to come in?). None of that frozen crap. But that's when I was young.

Now, it's what I drink the majority of the time. Plain, not flavored. Preferably ice cold or on the rocks. Not shaken. Not stirred. No lemon slice. I wake up thirsty and it's what I crave. I've even dreamed about it once or twice. Arizona is to water what famine is to Africa: it's the first thing we fret about. Screw rising gas prices, WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO DO WITHOUT WATER? You need a 24oz Thirstbuster filled to the brim with Mountain Dew to get you going in the morning? I need to chug some water. I drink water with sweets (cake, pie, candy, etc), not milk. Because milk makes me thirsty for water. Shrugs. Go figure.

Needless to say, I was a bit appalled when I came to this part of the article:

"To date, no independent investigation has shown that bottled water passes more safety and health checks than tap water. In fact, the National Resources Defense Council (NRDC) tested 103 brands of bottled water and concluded there was no assurance that water out of a bottle is cleaner or safer than water from the tap. Another of their conclusions didn't surprise me either: They estimated that 25 percent or more of bottled water is nothing more than tap water."

Are you shit-ting me? You tell me this after we've been buying 3 cases at a time of Kirkland brand bottled water for who knows how long? The tap water here is craptacular, hence the need for bottled water. And yes, I can tell the difference. You can practically taste the organisms in our tap water, should you be brave enough to ever drink from a drinking fountain or your faucet.

Did you notice that they didn't list what brands they tested? Pretty convenient, don't you think?

So am I to assume that Evian's pure mountain spring water from a man-made lake in a tiny little village in France isn't as pure as we're led to believe?

I think I was better off being ignorant.

Labels: In the News, Life in General