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18 June 2006

Done and Done

After 2 years in the creation, 2 weeks and 3 days past my self-appointed deadline, 1 forfeited part time evening job, 1 sidelined daily routine of walking a mile on the treadmill, and 1 neglected third Young Adult Fiction book, *DRAVEN ATREIDES, TEENAGE FBI: A ROYALE PAIN (Book One) is DONE.

In writing movements previously posted, I had talked about the fanfare that would ensue when I got it done. I had mentioned pictures of my utter happiness being posted, not to mention doing the Happy Dance (yes, we writers have a Happy Dance). Not gonna happen. Those pictures would've had you thinking I hadn't showered--or eaten--in weeks. The whole "happy at being done" thing kinda snuck up on me, actually.

I was in the middle of writing the Prologue (a journal entry made by my main character) and in the process of writing a certain passage, I could feel my throat closing up and the prickling sensation behind my eyes. By the time I was done, I was crying like a family member had died (according to the fiancee). For me, it was tears of joy and relief. It took a lot out of me, wrung every word out of my head until I thought I didn't have any more to give, and now it's over.

This one was a lot harder for me to finish. The main reason being that it should've been done in June 2005. There were many stops and starts, including an evening part time job that left me little time to write. For a while, I couldn't get into a routine that felt natural to me. If I enforced one--"I will write 5 pages a day"--I balked. If I imposed a deadline--"This book needs to be done by June"--my creative mojo stagnated.

It wasn't until I participated in a weekend of female empowerment in February (yay SARK) and discovered the meaning of micromovements (5 seconds to 5 minutes), and applied it in my own way (writing movements), that things started to flow. I gave myself a deadline--"This book will be done by the end of May"--and threw it out there in the universe to make it stick. I enforced a writing routine--"I will have a writing movement today"--and was able to write everyday during my one hour lunch and 2-3 hours more when I got home.

I told my co-workers: "The door is closed. It's my lunch hour. Don't even think about knocking unless you want your fingers broken off." (I didn't really say that, but it was implied) I even had a co-worker asking on a daily basis "Is it done yet?" I wonder what he's going to say when I finally answer "Yes."

I told my family: "Don't call unless it's an emergency. If I happen to answer the phone, it's only because I've taken a break to do one of two things: eat or piss."

And I told the fiancee: "The door is closed. Knock if the house is burning down."

Even though I went past my self-appointed deadline (read: no publisher imposed this deadline. I own my own small press and publish the books myself. I answer to no one but me. And we all know how harsh that inner critic can be) by 2 weeks and 3 days, I am proud of me. In my own way, I can make deadlines. When the time comes and I'm ready to farm out my books to the Big Houses, I will be able to make the deadline. And that makes me feel proud.

I am mentally tired, emotionally wrung out and don't even want to think about starting Book 2 for another 3 months. Here's to riding smoother writing waves in the future.

* This book will be released on July 28th. If you would like to Pre-order your copy now, go HERE.
posted by GeminiWisdom @ 5:26 PM |


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