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19 May 2006

CPS's Most Wanted

In Yahoo headlines today Britney Spears Stumbles, Nearly Drops Baby

Britney Spears stumbled outside a Manhattan hotel, nearly dropping her 8-month-old son and further fueling the ever-growing media scrutiny of her parenting skills.

CPS must have someone in a car, in a parking lot somewhere, just ready to go make a home visit when they get a call about this girl.

Case #1: Earlier this week, she was photographed driving with Sean Preston in a car seat facing forward rather than facing backward, which some safety regulations say is best.

Case #2: Spears was visited by a sheriff's deputy at her home in Malibu, Calif., last month after Sean Preston slipped from his nanny's arms as she was lifting him from a high chair and something in the chair snapped.

Case #3: In February, authorities visited Spears' home after photos showed the singer in a car with her son in her lap, instead of being strapped to a car seat in the back seat. She first blamed pursuits by the paparazzi, but later said it was a "mistake."

Latest blunder: In photos splashed across the front page and inside the New York Post on Friday, the 24-year-old pop star is shown exiting The Ritz-Carlton hotel with Sean Preston in one hand and a glass in the other.

As her bodyguards walked Spears to her car, she stumbled — her long pants apparently getting tangled in her open-toed shoes — and bent low as Sean Preston's head flung backward, knocking off his orange hat.

Spears, though, was able to keep her balance and hold on to her son, with help from a bodyguard, who reacted quickly.

There's a reason why young pop stars should not be having children and this is the reason. You don't see girls like Ashlee Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, The Olsen Twins, and Paris Hilton (God, could you imagine?) having babies while they're young and it's probably for this very reason. They're not ready. They're not mature enough to have kids. Brit may have thought she was ready, but it's apparent that she's not. And it doesn't help that she married down. You shoulda stuck with Justin, Brit. At least he would've bought you a ring with his own money.

Granted, she has the cha-ching to provide her children with everything they want, but it ain't gonna matter if she ends up having them taken away. Okay, pause...

OMG, could you imagine if that actually happened? In an alternate universe, of course, but what if her kids ended up in the foster care system? I can just see some couple saying "We're raising Britney Spears' kids."

Moving on, I know you're pregnant again so get clothes that fit. That way, you'll avoid de-pansing yourself in public. And why the hell were you carrying a glass? You got 4 bodyguards surrounding you. Give'em something to do like, I dunno, HOLD A DAMN GLASS!!

And correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe someone invented baby carriers. Hell, Angelina was wearing her baby girl like a purse. BUY ONE! You can afford it. Or better yet, use one of the 50 that I'm sure you got at your baby shower.

The paparazzi can seem like a pack of Hounds from Hell. Us lesser souls understand this. I mean, look what happened to Princess Di. But for your child's safety, you should've taken the time to strap him in a car seat. Better they get a shot of you doing that, than the one they got of you driving away with him in your lap. Not showing much common sense from the Mommy front on that one, were ya? Bet she was thinkin' the whole coulda-shoulda-woulda scenario when that nice lady from CPS showed up on her doorstep.

Is she making a record right now? Is she planning on making more? Does she ever think about going to college? Cuz, y'know, she can't be a pop star forever. In the interviews that I've seen of her in the past, when she was first starting out and had that wholesome look about her, she had this kind of southern sweetness aura goin' on. The way she is with her little sister (Geez, can we say twins, boys and girls?) and has that special camp for kids, I was thinking that she'd make a great mother. When she grows up. Now, when I read about her parenting mishaps, all I picture is that half-naked pop star who French kissed Madonna on national television.

Hang on, I gotta call CPS. I have them on speed dial...
posted by GeminiWisdom @ 2:21 PM |


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