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28 April 2007


Via snail mail from Dystel and Goderich Literary Management. This was after she had requested a partial and then the full MS.

Dear Celise:

Thanks so much for letting me review your material for Draven Atreides, Teenage FBI: A Royale Pain, which I've now had the chance to read. Though there was certainly a lot to like here, we have decided, after careful consideration, that we are not the appropriate agents to represent this book.

I really enjoyed Draven as a character, and her friends are hysterical-modeled on My So-Called Life, no? (yes) The novel also presents a good twist on a popular genre. The tone is a lot of fun, and I do think you're a great writer.

That said, the pacing was a big problem for me--in many sections, the level of description went too far to keep the novel moving along at the right speed, and, consequently, I didn't find myself completely sucked into the plot.

In order to take on a client, I have to be absolutely head over heels about the project--and you deserve no less from your agent. I do think it's possible you could get to that point with Draven Atreides if you did some revising, and if you choose that route, I'd love to take another look. I'd also be delighted if you'd keep me in mind for other projects.

I do thank you, sincerely, for thinking of us and letting me review your work. I hope that I'll hear from you again, but if not, I do wish you the very best of luck in your search for representation.

Best regards,


This makes the third offer for a re-look. Not bad, I guess. As soon as it's been slashed to hell and back, I will be resubmitting to her. Definitely.

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